Fiery Love
by VioletRose13
Summary: [Based on an episode of the House of Mouse] How did Hades, the Lord of the Underworld, meet Maleficent, the Mistress of All Evil?
1. Hades Meets Maleficent

As King Beast's first decree as king of the United States of Auradon, he had every villain and sidekick banished to the Isle of the Lost where they would be held prisoner for the rest of their days. One of these villains was a powerful God and the Lord of the Underworld, Hades… and he was not too happy about that.

"Ugh! I can't believe it!" Hades ranted; he slumped against a nearby wall and folded his arms over his chest. "I am a GOD! I don't belong in a place like this! Those fools over in Auradon think they're so great! So much better than us! Ha! While we're left to rot on this miserable island like caged animals, _they_ get to go off and live happily ever after! Oh, but it's true love! Blech, mortals! This is SO UNFAIR!" He stomped his foot in anger and clutched his ember tight in his fist.

"You said it, boss! _So_ unfair! Those stupid, stupid mortals!" One of Hades' minions, Pain commented.

"Yeah! And their stupid lovey-dovey smiles! Makes me sick!" The second minion, Panic chimed in.

"Thanks for the _unnecessary_ commentary, fellas." Hades sarcastically said. "Oh, what I'd like to do to that King Beast. I would LOVE to go over to Auradon right now, walk straight up to that fancy-dressed thick-skulled cretin, look him straight in the eye, and give him a piece of my mi…" Hades suddenly trailed off and went silent.

Pain and Panic looked up at their master and saw that he was looking at something with wide eyes and his mouth open. It looked as though the God of the Underworld was in a trance and they had no idea why.

"Uh, boss? Boss, you okay?" Pain asked, waving a hand in front of Hades' eyes.

"What are you looking at?" Panic asked, snapping his fingers in his boss's face.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Who is THAT?!" Hades asked.

Pain and Panic turned their heads to see what he was looking at and they saw a group of women standing a few yards away. One of them was wearing a black dress and holding a scepter in one hand, but the most peculiar thing about her was the lack of hair and the giant pair of horns on the top of her head. Nevertheless, she was quite beautiful.

"You fools!" The woman screamed in anger; she seemed to be yelling at a group of goblin-like creatures dressed as guards. "I commanded you to wait at the castle! Away with you!"

She pointed her scepter at the goblins and they disappeared in a burst of green flames. The woman sighed and leaned up against a wall, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"Ugh, I suppose that's what I get for hiring goblins. Honestly, ladies, you just can't find good help nowadays." She said, glancing at her new companions.

"Agreed." A woman wearing dark robes and a crown replied.

"Here, here." Another woman with black and white hair and wearing a fur coat added.

"Wow, are you two seeing what I'm seeing? What a knockout!" Hades said, a big smile worming its way onto his lips.

"Which one?" Panic asked.

"The lady with the tentacles, the crown, or the fur coat?" Pain asked.

"No, you meatheads. I'm talking about _her_!" Hades pointed a finger at the woman with the scepter.

"_Her_?" The two minions asked.

"The lady with the horns?" Pain asked.

"Why her?" Panic added.

"Are you two blind? Just look at her! She's dark, she's tough, she's elegant, she's stylish, and not to mention, she is GORGEOUS! Plus, we even have the same management style! Now _that_ is a ghoul for me."

"That's why you keeping staring at her like that?" Pain asked.

"Weird." Panic chimed in.

The flame-headed god didn't seem to listen to their last comments. He smiled. "Name."

"Huh?"

"You heard me. Name."

"What?"

"Gimme a name."

"Uh…"

"You idiots! Who is she?! WHAT IS HER _NAME_?!"

"Oh! Why didn't you just say that?" Pain asked.

Hades groaned and facepalmed.

"Well, _she_ is Maleficent, the Mistress of All Evil." Panic clarified.

"Wow! Maleficent, what a name. Just saying it warms my soul, if I had one." Hades said with a chuckle.

"Ooh, don't look now, boss. But…" Pain said, pointing a finger at the women again.

Hades looked and saw Jafar waltzing over to them and he bounced his eyebrows at Maleficent. He frowned.

"I should've known." He grumbled in disappointment.

"My dear, I've been looking for a diamond in the rough." Jafar said, trying to sound smooth.

Maleficent rolled her eyes and wacked him on the face with one of her long, flowing sleeves before the top of his turban suddenly started on fire. In a panic, Jafar patted his turban with his free hand as fast as he could to put out the fire and it quickly went out. He stood there for a moment or two in surprise, unsure of what to say to that.

"Real smooth, Prince Charming." Jafar's parrot, Iago, said sarcastically.

"Quiet, you." Jafar grumbled as he walked away in defeat.

"Oh come now. Don't be so serious, darling." Maleficent laughed as she watched him leave.

Hades couldn't help but laugh along with her.

"She even has a sense of humor! Just when I thought she couldn't be any more perfect for me." He grinned and adjusted his leather coat.

"Whatcha doin', boss?" Pain asked.

"Isn't it obvious? I'm gonna go introduce myself." Hades answered, fixing his eyebrows.

"Are you sure you wanna do that?" Panic asked.

"Yeah. I mean, look at what she did to that last guy." Pain added.

The God scoffed. "Come on, it's nothing _I_ can't handle. Now don't save my spot, boys. Daddy's gone a courtin'." He smiled and walked over to Maleficent while her back was turned.

"Can you believe him?" Maleficent said to her friends.

"A diamond in the rough? Wonder where he got _that_ from." The woman in the fur coat scoffed.

"Ooh, ladies. Something tall, dark, and handsome is coming this way." The woman in the crown said, seeing Hades approach.

"What?" Maleficent asked before Hades stopped right beside her; she yelped in surprise.

The dark fairy looked up at the man before her and realized that he was practically towering over her; she was almost taken aback by his dark clothes and bright blue mohawk. But the Evil Queen was right; he was rather handsome.

"Evening, dark and deadly." Hades said, trying to sound smooth. "I'm Hades, Lord of the Underworld. Maybe you've heard of me?" He smiled and bounced his eyebrows at her.

Maleficent blinked a few times and said nothing before bonking Hades in the side of the head with her scepter.

"Ow!" He cried out in pain; he rubbed the side of his head. "Uh… huh, seems clear my reputation precedes me." He let out an embarrassed chuckle; Maleficent and her friends were giving him very confused looks. "Uh, okay. Good chat. I'm glad we had a talk… that I'm continuing now by myself. Good." He briskly walked away as his cheeks turned bright red in embarrassment.

"What was _that_ all about?" The woman with tentacles asked.

"It was obvious he only wanted to talk about himself, Ursula. Not exactly worth my time." Maleficent answered; her friends laughed as she watched Hades walk back over to his minions. Her expression softened ever so slightly.

'Though he does seem rather charming…' She said to herself, pressing her lips in thought.

"You sure can pick 'em, boss. She is _hot_." Panic said as Hades walked over to where he was originally standing.

"So, when's the big day?" Pain asked, almost oblivious to the exchange that had just taken place.

"Boys, I propose a toast. YOU!" Hades screamed as he blasted fire at his two minions; they were burned and they immediately passed out. "Ugh, nitwits." He glanced over at Maleficent; he saw that she was laughing with her friends.

"Pardon me." A new voice said.

Hades nearly jumped and turned to see Professor Ratigan standing next to him. He had a somewhat sly look on his face; it looked like he wanted something.

"What do you want, Ratigan?" Hades asked, rolling his eyes.

"Well, that's a fine 'how do you do', Lord of the Underworld." Ratigan said sarcastically; he adjusted his neckerchief. "You know, I couldn't help but overhear your little predicament. And I don't mean to step on your toes here, but have you ever stopped to think that people would like you better if you tried to be, oh I don't know, _nice_ to them?"

Hades' eyes widened before he burst out laughing. "Nice?! Are you kidding me, Ratigan? I am not nice! Nice isn't my thing, it clashes with my evil look. And is Miss Beautiful Short Fuse over there really gonna go for NICE?" He glanced over at Maleficent. "Yeah, I think not. Everybody, meeting downstairs in FIVE SECONDS!"

"Hold it! I'll prove it to you. Watch and learn." Ratigan said before making his way over to Maleficent.

"Hope you paid up on the fire insurance, Ratsy." Hades called out.

"Don't look now, ladies." The Evil Queen said.

"Well, good evening and how do you do, Madame Maleficent." Ratigan warmly greeted, approaching the dark fairy.

Maleficent rolled her eyes and muttered under her breath, "Not another one." She quickly put on a fake smile and said through gritted teeth, "Hello, Ratigan. What do you want?"

"Nothing, my dear. Nothing at all. I just wanted to talk." Ratigan replied. "I hope you're having a nice evening, especially considering our… current circumstances. Nonetheless, I truly sincerely hope you're feeling somewhat happy today." He gave her a smile and bowed to her.

"Uh… yes indeed, _very_ happy. And giddy with fun." Maleficent nervously said through a giant, fake grin. "Will you leave me alone now?"

Hades watched the exchange with wide eyes; he hadn't heard the muttered phrases she said. "Whoa, that was… impressive. I can't believe these words are actually coming out of my mouth, but… there might be something to this 'nice' thing after all."

Pain and Panic quickly shot up onto their feet in shock. "NICE?!"

"Boss, are you listening to yourself?" Pain exclaimed.

"Do you even realize what you're saying?" Panic asked.

"Boys, you don't get it. In order to get the girl, I gotta be nice." Hades explained. "But the problem here is that I _can't_ be nice. It's just NOT ME. This is torture! This is like something _I_ would come up with! What am I gonna do?!"

"Don't you worry, Hades." Ratigan said as he walked back over to the distressed God. "If you want to be nice, I'll teach you everything I know. You have but to ask."

"_You_? Want to help _me_?"

"Of course I do. With my help, you'll be acting like a proper gentleman in no time. But no lying, no tricks, and absolutely no sleazy behavior. Understand?"

"Uh…"

"Do you want to win over Maleficent or not?"

Hades glanced over at Maleficent just as she was walking away with her friends.

"Yes."

"Then you'll have to do exactly as I say. You have to promise you'll really try."

"Fine, fine. I promise. Cross my heart and hope to… uh, oh. Little too late for that. I guess you'll just have to take my word for it."

"Hmmmm… Works for me."

"But do you think we could start this tomorrow? I've had a pretty long day."

"Of course. After all, a gentleman needs his beauty sleep."

"Then I guess we're in business."

"I suppose we are."

They shook hands.


	2. Lessons From Ratigan

"Okay, how to be a proper gentleman." Hades said as he and Ratigan sat at his kitchen table the next day; he had his feet propped up on the table and he was eating from a bowl of gummy worms. "Where do we start?"

"I admire your enthusiasm, my friend, but before we begin our lessons, I'm afraid I must point out _three_ very important etiquette rules that you're breaking right now." Ratigan answered.

"Like what?" Hades slurped up another gummy worm.

"First of all…" Ratigan stood up from his chair and went over to Hades. "Sit up straight." He forcefully made the God sit up straight in his chair and he removed Hades' legs from the table. "Don't place your feet on the table. And don't speak with your mouth full. What are you, an animal?"

Hades paused and swallowed. "Was that a rhetorical question?"

Ratigan glared at him.

"Fine, whatever. You're the boss here."

"Hades, if you're going to impress the Mistress of Evil, you need to focus and listen to me. I'm all you have right now and you cannot slack off like this. What you _need_ to do is take my word seriously and do as I tell you. Understand?"

"…Eh, understood." The Lord of the Dead rolled his eyes.

"Good boy."

Ratigan gently patted Hades' cheek and smiled, which made Hades back away. "Could you PLEASE not talk to me like I'm a dog? It's very demeaning."

"Apologies."

They stood up.

"Now, the first lesson for a gentleman in training is about posture." Ratigan explained. "Where I'm from, both men _and_ women of _any_ shape, size, or form are warned that they must sit and stand completely vertically straight, and even the tiniest bend or deviation on one spine would lead directly to a life of horror and destitution. Am I going too fast for you?"

"Uh… you lost me at posture." Hades said with a nervous grin.

Ratigan groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. "This is going to be _much_ harder than I thought. Okay, Hades; you need some SERIOUS work. I'll train you for all eternity if I have to! But trust me. When I'm through with you, you are going to be turned into a true proper gentleman… whether you like it or not."

"Why don't I like the sound of that?"

"I suppose the only way I can properly explain this to you is through song."

"Oh boy…"

Ratigan placed about three books atop his head and cleared his throat.

"_It's so terribly hard to be a gentleman_" He sang.

"_There's so many Ps and Qs you have to mind_

_But the rewards I guarantee are rich and varied_

_And worth all of the effort, you will find_"

He placed the books on Hades' head, which caused them to start on fire. Ratigan shook his head.

"_Your posture must be perfect_

_And your diction crisp and clear_

_Your speaking voice mellifluous and pleasing to the ear_

_You must open doors for ladies_

_Chivalry is just so_

_You must give out firm handshakes_

_But that's not all you need to know…_"

As Ratigan continued to sing about what to do and what not to do, Hades tried his hardest to keep up, but he soon found it rather difficult.

"_You mustn't curse or spit or tattle, never gossip!_" Ratigan sang.

"_A gentleman never scratches, sweats, or burps!_

_He knows which knife and fork and spoon to use and when_

_And if soup is served, it's impolite to slurp!_

_It's always "please and thank you, sir or madam"!_

_Never brash or loud or putting on a show!_

_A gentleman's calm, proud, and proper_

_And that is really all you need to know!_"

Hades had the books on his head again, but they didn't start on fire this time.

"Get it now?" Ratigan asked.

"Uh, sort of. Yeah, I think so." Hades said, trying to balance the books. "But I thought only women had to do this 'balance a bunch of books on your head' thing."

"It's not required."

Hades removed the books. "Then why am _I_ doing it?"

"Because it's funny… for me."

Hades angrily growled at Ratigan before he quickly stopped him.

"Another important rule you have to follow, Lord of the Underworld!" Ratigan said. "A gentleman must NEVER lose his temper. He must remain perfectly calm and collected at all times, unless you want to make a bad first impression and allow people to see you as nothing but a hothead bully."

Hades mildly calmed down. "Okay, fine. Fine, I'm cool. I'm fine. But can we move on? I think I already got the basics down."

"Good! The next lesson is appearance. A gentleman must always be clean and pleasant-smelling and wear the finest livery to make everyone know who he is." Ratigan looked at Hades from head to toe and shook his head in disappointment. "You need new clothes, pronto."

"What's wrong with what I'm wearing now?" Hades asked.

"Are you out of your mind? You cannot approach a lady dressed like a homeless, heavy metal enthusiast and expect her to instantly fall for you! What kind of impression are you trying to make?"

"Uh…"

"No, no, don't answer that. I don't want to know." He took the God's wrist and dragged him out the door.

"Where are we going?"

"We are going clothes shopping. Hold on, my friend; I am going to make this happen."

Hades winced nervously; he didn't like where this was going, not one bit.


	3. The New Hades

"Hades! Come out! You've been in there for half an hour!" Ratigan shouted as he pounded his fist on the door of the changing room.

"No! I feel silly!" Hades shouted behind the door.

"Come on, it cannot be _that_ bad. This is the _fifty-eighth_ outfit you've tried on today and the shop is all out of suits! Let me see you already!"

"Fine, I'm coming out! But you have to promise not to laugh."

"Very well. Cross my heart."

The door opened and Hades stepped out wearing a suit meant for a prince of Auradon. Ratigan's eyes widened and he let out a dramatic gasp.

"You're… beautiful! It's perfect!" He cried.

"Are you sure?" Hades asked, looking at himself in the nearby wall mirror. "Because I look and feel like an idiot." He adjusted his pants. "I mean, seriously! Look at me! How can Princes over in Auradon wear pants this tight? And over their shoes like this? Come on, _none_ of this is me."

"Who cares? That doesn't matter now." Ratigan said. "You know the basics of manners and etiquette and you've got the right clothes, now we just need to do something with…" He looked up at Hades' hair with disgust. "…_that_."

Hades tensed up. "What? Oh no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, NO!" He put his hands up to his head to protect his hair. "You are NOT touching my mohawk. I work really hard every morning to get it like this! See it?" He pointed at his hair. "_This_ is my bread and butter, and I _cannot_ have you messing up my bread and butter! GOT IT?!" He snarled at Ratigan.

"Do you want to win over Maleficent or not?" Ratigan asked, furrowing his brow.

Hades paused and nodded.

"Then we need to do something with that hairstyle, if you can even call it that. And luckily, I know just the thing."

'Oh no, here we go…'

0-0-0-0-0-0

"Professor Ratigan? What's going on?" Pain asked as he and Panic stood outside their boss's home; it was just about sunset.

"Yeah, the boss has been hanging out with you all day. What gives?" Panic asked.

"I've been training him the entire day and now, I have finally turned him into a _masterpiece_." Ratigan proudly answered. "Boys, don't bother sitting down because I give you the nicest and most polite Lord of the Underworld, Hades!"

The front door opened and Pain and Panic were shocked at what they saw. Hades was almost unrecognizable; he wore that same prince suit he wore t the shop and his hair was now short and dark brown, almost black. He had a clean shave and he was standing tall and proud with a big smile on his face, which showed off a set of perfectly straight, pearly white teeth.

"My, my, Pain and Panic. How nice to see you both. So sorry for my recent absence, I've been preoccupied with other important matters." Hades said, walking down the steps and stopping in front of his minions.

Pain and Panic were so shocked that their eyes were as big as bowling balls and their mouths fell wide open. They quickly turned their attention to Ratigan.

"What have you done to him?!" They screamed at him.

"I made him perfect." Ratigan answered.

"No! You gave him an _evillectomy_!" Pain cried.

"You monster!" Panic shrieked.

Hades' face slightly fell at his minions' reactions; he certainly wasn't expecting that.

"Oh, never mind them. Come, it's time for the _real_ test." Ratigan said, directing Hades toward the town square.

The two villains made it to the square and saw Maleficent sitting on a crate all by herself; she was filing her nails and looking rather bored.

"There she is…" Ratigan said.

But then, out of nowhere, Captain James Hook confidently approached Maleficent. He smiled and bounced his eyebrows at her.

"Why hello, lassie. I've seen many things while sailing the seas, but none as lovely as you." He said, trying to sound suave.

"Ugh, go away, Hook." Maleficent said, slapping Hook in the face with her sleeve just like she did to Jafar.

Without saying another word, Hook walked away in defeat. Ratigan looked at Hades who had a worried expression on his face.

"Don't worry, my friend. She's got to like the new you. In fact, I already like you better myself." He said, sounding confident.

"I hope you're right…" Hades said to himself, gazing at Maleficent.


	4. Epic Fail

By nightfall, quite a few villains were already out and about on the Isle. Maleficent was joined by her three friends and they were all talking and laughing, just like the night before. Ratigan and Hades were standing a good distance away from them and going over what Hades had learned earlier that day.

"Alright, Hades. I think you're finally ready to talk to Maleficent." Ratigan said.

"Are you sure? …Because I still have my doubts." Hades anxiously replied.

Ratigan scoffed. "Are you serious? After everything I've done for you?"

"I'm just not sure. Wouldn't it be better for me to just be myself?"

"Yourself?! Pfft! Perish the vile thought!"

"But isn't that all a girl wants? For a guy to just be himself?"

"Hades, you don't understand. Women only _think_ they want us to be ourselves because they don't know how wretched we actually are. What you have to do is think of the most attractive man as possible and be them. And that is exactly what I've turned you into now: a man countless women would drool over."

"I just don't feel comfortable with—"

"Do you want to win over Maleficent or not?"

"You asked me that question _three times_ already."

"And what was your answer every time?"

"Yes, yes I do!"

"Then there's no reason for you to complain. You are perfect."

Hades looked down at himself, then back at Ratigan. He sighed in defeat. "Fine."

"Good. _Now_ you're all set."

"Really?"

"Almost. Remember perfect posture. Back straight, shoulders back, stomach in, and head held high." Hades did so. "Perfect. Shoes… need to be shined more." Ratigan got down to the ground and spat on Hades' left shoe before wiping it clean with a handkerchief.

"Ew, what are you doing?" He cried.

"Haven't you ever heard of spit shining?" Ratigan did the same thing to the other shoe.

"Yeah, but I didn't think it was literal."

"Never mind that. _Now_ your shoes are perfectly shined." He stood straight. "One last thing: hair check."

Hades carefully moved part of the wig he was wearing to reveal a fraction of his blue flames for hair.

"Um… as long as you keep the wig on, you'll be fine."

Hades put the wig back into place. "Okay, great. Thanks for your help, Ratigan. I don't think I could've done this without you."

"You can thank me later. Now, as you would say… go get her, tiger!" He got behind Hades and pushed him out into the square. Ratigan smiled as he watched his student walk in Maleficent's direction. "Would you look at that. Our little Hades, all turned proper."

"Uh, aren't you worried?" Pain asked.

"Why should I be worried?" Ratigan asked.

"If the boss fails, then…" Panic started.

"Are you joking? He won't fail. This is foolproof." Ratigan folded his arms and smiled proudly to himself while Pain and Panic gave each other knowing looks.

As Hades was walking, Jafar and Captain Hook spotted him and quickly ran up to him. Their eyes were wide with shock

"Hades, is that you?!" Jafar asked.

"What have you done to yourself?" Hook asked.

"Don't you guys like my new look? Makes me look proper, doesn't it?" Hades replied.

"…Hades, you need bed rest."

"Jafar and I will keep you safe until you're well again."

The two villains attempted to push Hades to his house, but Hades stopped them.

"What? Guys, come on. I'm perfectly fine. In fact, I have never felt better. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go speak with a certain dark fairy. Wish me luck."

Hades adjusted his coat and continued to walk over to Maleficent. Hook and Jafar gave each other worried glances.

"She's going to turn him down, isn't she?" Hook asked.

"Mmhmm." Jafar nodded his head.

"Day Two on the Isle of the Lost." The Evil Queen said, sounding unimpressed.

"Nothing much happens around here, huh?" Cruella asked.

"Not really, no." Ursula added.

"Well, well, well, how do you do and good evening, Miss Maleficent." Hades said, stopping right in front of Maleficent and bowing before her.

All four villainesses looked at Hades with shocked expressions on their faces, unsure of what to make of this.

"Uh… he's talking to _you_, Malef. Later." Ursula said, pushing Maleficent closer to Hades; she, Cruella, and the Queen briskly walked away.

"Wait, what? No, wait! Where are you going?! Don't leave me! Argh! WIMPS!" Maleficent shouted at them.

"Oh, never mind them. Here, I brought these for you." Hades said, pulling out a bouquet of pastel-colored flowers and offering it to her. But then the bouquet started on fire and burned to ash right in Hades' hand. They both winced in surprise. "Whoops." He quickly wiped his hands with a handkerchief. "I am so sorry for that. Pardon me, but what do you say we put this to the side for a minute or two?" He took Maleficent's scepter and propped it up against the nearby wall. "I say, it is wonderful to see you here. And would you be interested in going on a date with me?"

"…A date?" The dark fairy questioned.

"Why of course. I mean… it _is_ a zippity doo dah day. Oh boy!" He grinned.

Jafar and Hook weren't too far away and they could hardly believe what they were hearing.

"Swoggle me eyes, what was _that_?" Hook asked.

"Zippity doo dah? What is he even saying?" Jafar asked in shock.

After a long awkward moment of silence, Maleficent smirked at him. "…Come closer."

Hoping for the best, Hades smiled and leaned in closer to her.

"You're nice." She said with a sly smile.

"Really? Why thank you. I'm trying." Hades replied, feeling proud.

"Well, if you ask me… you're trying _too hard_." She hissed in his ear; her smile quickly turned into a frown.

His eyes widened and his face fell. "…Excuse me?"

"I loathe and despise NICE."

The dark fairy then proceeded to slap Hades across the face and step down on his foot, which made Hades cry out in pain.

"And one more thing. Never touch my scepter again!" She said before grabbing her scepter and hitting him hard in the stomach with it, knocking the wind right out of him. She turned her back to Hades and crossed her arms over her chest. "Come back when you've had a reality check."

Every villain and sidekick that was nearby watched in awe and a few passersby giggled under their breath. Feeling defeated, Hades walked away with his head hung low. After a moment, Jafar and Hook ran after their friend. Maleficent's friends soon returned to her side and looked at her in shock.

"He was _clearly_ out of his mind." She said.

"…Talk about being shot down in flames. Ouch." Ursula commented before Cruella and the Evil Queen glared at her.

"Ursula… timing." Cruella said.

"Not good?"

"Yeah, pretty not good."

The dark fairy didn't say another word. From not too far away, Pain and Panic turned their heads to face Ratigan and they both gave him death stares.

"How's _that_ for foolproof?" They asked in unison.

Ratigan's face fell, but he remained silent, knowing all too well where this was going to go.


	5. Being Himself

Hades was slumped over on a bench with a defeated look on his face; Captain Hook and Jafar were standing nearby in an attempt to console their friend. He had unbuttoned his suit jacket and he was holding a glass of water in his hands; as of now, he felt like nothing short of a complete loser.

"Come on, Hades. Don't be like that." Jafar said, trying to comfort him.

"Yes, my friend. Clearly this… _look_ just isn't working." Hook added.

Hades took a swig from his glass. "I just can't believe it! What was I thinking? I changed myself completely just to impress a woman who would _never_ go for someone like me. Am I insane? I'm a total failure."

"There's no such thing as failure, until you give up. _That_ is when you fail." Hook said.

"Shockingly, this isn't making me feel any better." The Lord of the Underworld said with a depressed sigh.

"Don't be too hard on yourself, mate. It wasn't _your_ idea to change." The hook-handed pirate replied.

"Hook is right. _Raitgan_ was the one who told you to be a completely different person." Jafar chimed in.

At that moment, Hades had an epiphany. He sat up straight and threw his glass onto the ground, causing it to shatter on impact.

"You're right. You are absolutely right! That is all that rodent's fault! _He's_ the one to blame!" He stood up before his whole body burst into flames. When the flames subsided, Hades was back in his old clothes, his hair was back to its old self, and he had an enraged look on his face. "WHERE IS RATIGAN?!"

Not too far away, Ratigan froze in fear when he heard Hades scream his name.

"Uh oh, I think you made him mad." Pain taunted.

"…You'd better run." Panic added.

"Duly noted." Ratigan quickly said before running away just before a fireball hit the ground, narrowly missing his feet.

"Why you sleazy old RAT! Come back here!" Hades screamed, chasing after Ratigan and throwing more fire at him.

The two imps laughed mockingly at Ratigan's situation

"Yes! Hades is evil again!" Pain cried happily.

"Hallelujah!" Panic cheered.

"What is it with the men on this isle anyway?" Maleficent asked her friends.

"Who knows with them?" Ursula replied with a shrug.

"I'm afraid not a lot of men are too bright in general." The Evil Queen added.

"Yes, they get something stuck in their heads and you can't do a thing with them." Cruella chimed in.

All four women tensed up when they heard someone scream. They turned their heads to see Ratigan being chased by Hades.

"I don't wanna die! I don't wanna die!" He chanted in fear, running past the four villainesses.

"Ratigan! Get back here so I can DESTROY YOU!" Hades yelled in pure, unbridled anger; he was so mad that didn't even realize he pushed Maleficent out of his path.

Maleficent was greatly intrigued as she watched the Lord of the Underworld chase the poor rat into an alleyway a few ways away. She raised a curious eyebrow.

"What was _that_?" Cruella asked.

"Wasn't that Hades?" Ursula asked.

"What is going on?" The Evil Queen asked.

"This just got interesting…" Maleficent said to herself, standing up and heading towards the alley; a curious smile slowly crept onto her lips.

By now, Hades had Ratigan cornered and completely helpless. Ratigan was breathing heavily, both from running so much and from sheer terror. Hades grabbed him by the neck and pulled him closer to his face.

"Oh dear…" Ratigan muttered.

"You haven't seen 'oh dear' yet." Hades snarled as his free hand started on fire.

"Now, Hades, there's no need to do anything hasty. You know I was only trying to help."

"Yeah? Well some help you were. Because of you and your horrible advice, I humiliated myself in front of the most beautiful creature that has ever lived. And now, you're going to pay the price. No one in this world makes a fool out of ME."

The flames in the God's hand grew bigger and brighter, causing Ratigan to panic even more.

"Please, Hades. Don't do this to me! Whatever happened to being nice?" He begged.

"Nice? You know I'm NOT a nice guy and I NEVER will be. And do you know what sounds nice to me right about now? ROASTED RAT!" Hades shouted, his hair flaring up again.

"Roasted rat? Ooooh! Now, _there's_ an idea I like." A familiar voice said.

Hades quickly turned around and was shocked to see Maleficent standing there with a mischievous smile on her face. His eyes widened and he quickly loosened his grip around Ratigan's throat; Ratigan fell to the ground, gasping and wheezing for air.

"…You do?" Hades asked.

She nodded. "Forgive my bluntness, but I'm assuming Ratigan over there has been giving you something of a hard time?"

"A hard time? Are you kidding me?" Hades scoffed. "Ratigan gave me something much WORSE. He gave me the most terrible advice! And I not only believed it, I actually TOOK it! ARGH!"

"Whoa! Easy, big fellow. Easy." Maleficent said with a giggle; she gently took his arm. "I know exactly where you're coming from. If I was in your position, I would've done the same thing."

"You would?"

"Of course. I mean, come on. Ratigan is a terrible flirt, not to mention he's so annoying."

"Annoying? W-w-w-wha? I-I-I mean, you… You just the words right out of my mouth."

"You know, I appreciate a man with a fiery disposition. It brings out the dragon in me, if you get my meaning." She gave him a wink.

"Really?" Hades smiled and snaked his arm around Maleficent's shoulder. "Well let me tell you something, sweetheart. I get mad a lot. I mean, I always get mad. I'm basically mad all the time. Ask my minions."

"Oh, don't worry. I believe you. I saw proof of that firsthand."

"I figured."

"And I must say, I have NEVER seen a man blow a fuse like that before. That's _very_ impressive and I don't impress easily."

"Thank you."

"Hold up, you actually _enjoyed_ that?!" Ratigan said in shock.

"Shut up. You're still in trouble." Hades said, glaring at him; Ratigan stayed quiet.

Maleficent giggled. "Hades, is it?"

"Yes?" Hades asked.

"This may sound a little forward, but how would you like to go for a walk with me?"

Hades' eyes widened in surprise. "A walk? With _you_? Around the Isle? Just the two of us?"

"Why yes, of course… unless you're not up for it."

"No, no, I never said that. I mean… yeah, I'd love to." He offered his arm to her. "Shall we?"

She smiled and took his arm. "We shall."

Then the two villains walked away, leaving Ratigan alone in the alley completely flabbergasted.

"…What just happened?" He asked himself.

As Maleficent and Hades exited the alleyway together, the other villains in the area watched them in shock, including Hook, Jafar, Ursula, Cruella, and the Evil Queen. Soon, every villain started whispering about the two of them, wondering what the heck was going on.

"Everyone is whispering about us." Maleficent said.

"So what?" Hades said before Pain and Panic ran up to them.

"Boss, you did it!" Pain cried.

"You got the girl!" Panic exclaimed.

"Not now, boys. I'm busy. Move." Hades said as he and Maleficent pushed their way past the two minions.

Pain and Panic watched his boss walk away with the dark fairy on his arm before they looked at each other and smiled big, excited grins.

"…He's back!" They cheered.


	6. Epilogue (I Won't Say I'm in Love)

"No! They didn't!" Hades laughed as he and Maleficent stood near the broken bridge that led to the mainland.

"Oh yes! They did!" The dark fairy replied. "For sixteen whole years, those simpleton goblin guards of mine have been looking for a _baby_!"

They laughed before Maleficent paused.

"Um… I just wanted to apologize for earlier." She awkwardly said.

"Eh, it's fine. I wasn't in my right mind anyway." Hades answered.

She chuckled before falling silent. "It's just that… I'm not accustomed to this sort of attention. The last time I gave my heart to someone… didn't really end well. He broke my heart and betrayed my trust, I was really hurt. That's why I don't trust a lot of men that easily."

Hades paused and gave her a sympathetic look. "I get it. My track record with women isn't all that great either."

"What do you mean?"

"Well… I was married before, but neither our relationship nor our marriage was healthy. Persephone and I? We were totally incompatible. I was not only ignored and yelled at, I was also beaten… pretty bad, just so she can get what she wanted. I was miserable. And to make it worse, she claimed that _I_ abused _her_ and she turned all of the other Gods of Olympus against me! That's why I decided to take over; well that, and I was super jealous of my brother Zeus. If everyone saw me as a bad guy, why not become one?"

Maleficent took a step closer to him. "I didn't know that."

"No one does, not even my own brothers." He looked down at her. "I've never told anyone else this story."

After a long moment of silence, Hades finally spoke up. "I'm sorry if I'm going too fast for you. I guess I'm just a little overexcited."

"It's okay. I really like you, Hades, but… a fairy and God?"

"Yeah, it's pretty crazy."

Then Maleficent had an idea. "I know. What do you say we just be friends for now? Until we can be in a place for something more?"

"Friends?"

"Is that okay?"

Hades paused and thought for a moment; should he be friends with the Mistress of Evil? He really liked her and she seemed to like him too, so why not? He looked at her again and smiled.

"Sure." He said.

Maleficent offered her hand. "So, friends?"

Hades shook it. "Friends."

They smiled before heading back into the Isle. They approached Maleficent's house, but just before she went inside, Hades stopped her and handed her a black glass rose. She took it.

"What's this for?" She asked.

"Friends can give each other gifts, can't they?" Hades asked.

"But I don't have anything to give you." Maleficent looked around and noticed a black scarf with silver skulls printed on it hanging on her doorknob. She took it and draped it around Hades' neck.

"For me?" Hades asked.

"Of course. I think it suits you." She winked at him.

He smirked. "Maleficent, once we finally get off this Isle, I am gonna show you a whole new underworld. I promise."

She giggled. "Can't wait."

They smiled before Hades turned and walked away, leaving Maleficent with the glass rose still clutched in her hand; he gave her a wink before disappearing around the corner. She looked at the glass flower and paused; her face fell.

"What am I doing? What's the matter with me? We just met. You'd think a girl would learn." She said to herself before going inside.

"_If there's a prize for rotten judgment_" She sang as she set the fake flower down.

"_I guess I've already won that_

_No man is worth the aggravation_

_That's ancient history, been there, done that_"

"_Who d'you think you're kidding_" She heard other female voices sing.

"_He's the earth and heaven to you_

_Try to keep it hidden,_

_Honey we can see right through you_

_Girl you can't conceal it_

_We know how you're feeling_

_Who you thinking of_"

"_No chance no way I won't say it, no no_"

"_You swoon you sigh why deny it oh oh_"

"_It's too cliche I won't say I'm in love_

_I thought my heart had learned its lesson_

_It feels so good when you start out_

_My head is screaming "Get a grip girl_

_Unless you're dying to cry your heart out_"

"_Girl you can't deny it_

_Who you are is how you're feeling_

_Baby we're not buying_

_Hon we saw you hit the ceiling_

_Face it like a grown-up_

_When you gonna own up that you got got got it bad_"

"_No chance no way I won't say it, no no_"

"_Give up, give in, check the grin you're in love_"

"_This scene won't play I won't say I'm in love_"

"_We'll do it until you admit you're in love_"

"_You're way off base I won't say it_"

"_Get off my case I won't say it_"

"_Girl don't be proud it's okay you're in love_"

She looked at the rose and sat down on her sofa, a tiny smile on her face.

"_At least out loud I won't say I'm in love…_" She fell back onto her couch, tightly clutching the rose; thoughts of Hades filled her mind and she smiled dreamily to herself.


End file.
